In the name of keeping it real, I'm gonna tell you about reverse culture shock, something that few travelers ever let seep out of the traveling circle. No one warns the newbies. So for those of you who have been following my blog, living vicariously, and planning those trips of your own, let's talk about the realities of coming home.
So let's see, I've been home for about a week and a half now, and I while I can't believe it's been that long, I've not been able to get too much done in that amount of time. When you move somewhere, everything is new and you have to get into new routines and go to new stores and get there in a different way maybe -and you EXPECT that when you move away from home. But when those things happen to you when you come home, it's a different story. You expect to come home to your comfort zone, things that you're used to, safety. But that's the thing, you don't realize some of the routines that you've traded in for new ones while you've been away.
Here's an example. While I used to feel comfortable and safe driving to Kroger, my favorite grocery store, now, I am used to walking to BM (the grocery store in Puerto Jimenez). Once inside Kroger, I cannot navigate the aisles like I used to because I am used to the layout of the BM, not to mention the bright lights, the colors, the store's size, the beeping registers. Great, I immediately forget what in the world I came here for (which is NOT usual for me!). Once I finally DO find the item I am looking for, how do I CHOOSE?! There are like 14 different brands of the same thing that yet, are all slightly different. TOO. MANY. OPTIONS. Finally, I am stunned by the price tag. It's in dollars -1's ,5's, 10's - and not in colones - 1000's, 5000's, and 10,000's - and I no longer have to convert in my head. What, by the way, are quarters and dimes and decimal points?? Gosh they still feel like play money. What in the world is happening? Why do I feel so out of place in such familiar territory?!?!
AND THEN I drive home (which, oddly enough is still a struggle in itself), only to unload my groceries to find that I don't have half the things I need to cook the recipes that I'm used to cooking. COME ON, I just want to relax with an avocado, Tabasco, and egg wrap - a safe haven, a comfort food. But guess what, I don't have Tabasco or tortillas because they are not located next to the items that trigger my memory to get them. I'm so distracted by the bread that I forget tortillas, and I rarely shop the condiment aisle, so I didn't even pass the Tabasco. I never used to cook with it, so I never thought about it, but now it's something I'm used to. Now that I'm magically back in my bubble, it's not in my grocery store routine, even though it's in my regular diet! Make sense? So, no comfort food for me. Sigh...even the food is compromised!!
AND THAT'S JUST A TRIP TO THE GROCERY STORE. That doesn't take into account my frustration with the fact that people wear shoes inside and how no one here composts. The amount of trash we create kills me. Packaged items are everywhere - and they are packaged INSIDE packages! Who does that?! You HAVE to drive if you want to get anything done, and stop lights and stop signs are basically my arch enemies. Also, how is it humanly possible for me to have so many THINGS in my room?!? I don't even wanna think about how retail stores make me feel. And schools?! I'm scared to teach here again - I might hug a child or take my shoes off or wear a tank top at work or do something else equally unforgivable. Oh I know what it'll be - I'll be late to work. I had NO problem switching over to Tico time (I am habitually late anyway), but it's been a real struggle to be somewhere when I say I will. I'll get there eventually, but I might be an hour late.....
How exhausting. Literally, everything I do is exhausting. While I don't feel UNcomfortable, I don't quite feel comfortable either. It's like every little thing is only slightly off....Not off enough for you to recognize it off the bat, but just off enough for you to know something isn't quite right. But you can't tell WHY it isn't quite right, because this is your comfort zone and you know everything already remember? This feeling makes you feel like you've gone crazy, like you've lost your mind. I have never felt so mentally unorganized in my life!
NOT TO MENTION (I know this keeps getting more intense ha that's the goal), I'm working through letting go of some old memories that I left behind. I've taken time for myself to heal, mostly in Matapalo, but coming back makes it even more real. BUT, the good news is, while this whole thing is a sporatic struggle (because things pop up out of nowhere and unexpectedly), I've got the best support system ever. My friends and family at home pull me up by my bootstraps and get me going, and my friends abroad keep me going with memories of the best times of my life. I'm chuggin' along, and it's been wonderful to see friends and family after so long, but I do miss the laidback life style and jungle retreats of good ole PJ and Matapalo. I'm used to escaping every weekend, so finding solace here can be a little more challenging. Plus, WHERE ARE MY SPORTS. I am gonna lose my mind EVEN MORE if I don't go to the gym or go hiking or swim laps or something, anything. Oh but wait, IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE and my wimpy self is afraid of the cold. Cool.
So, sorry for those of you who have been affected by this struggle, and an infinite thanks to those who love me anyway and drag me out of my hole. I'm usually the one doing the dragging, but when home, the most comfortable place in the world, suddenly becomes surprisingly unfamiliar, it can make a person look, sound, and feel crazy, especially when no one warns you about it. Slowly but surely, I will replace those comfortable habits of my "other" home with new ones here, just like I did when I originally moved away. I am in the mindset that while this is home, and things are familiar, I am at a different stage in life, so I have to keep moving forward, which requires constant change anyway. While old habits may feel comfortable, traveling (and then coming home) is all about creating new boundaries to your comfort zone, so picking up where I left off defeats the purpose (especially in romantic relationship!).
In closing, Salud to a new year that brings new habits, new routines, new relationships (added to the great ones I already have!), new travels, and of course, new adventures!! (And a new job. Don't forget about a new job...)
Friday, December 27, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Cavin' It
So this reverse culture shock thing. It's a sneaky little monster. It's only day one, and I have been surprised by so many little things that bug me out. Sometimes, it's totally in your face, and you get so overwhelmed by things like lights, colors, noises, and for me, things that are fast (like cars and people walking fast and fast service at restaurants). That part hasn't been fun so far - I was quickly overwhelmed landing in Atlanta less than 48 hours after being on the surfbreak at Matapalo. But let's skip the serious stuff for now.
Let's see how this whole, functioning in a normal society goes for me today. I've gotta evolve from the cavewoman I have become. :)
Wanna hear some funny culture shock moments that I've already had? First, before I left the airport, upon realizing I could now flush toilet paper, I got distracted and then almost fell into the toilet with surprise when it flushed itself. Ah, automatic things. That's something I forgot about. Then, I almost burned myself with hot water in the sink. Forgot that the left side is hot.....And speaking of hot - I am mesmerized by this whole electric stove thing. It gets hot WITHOUT FIRE. I don't have to carry around a lighter and dodge gas fireballs every time I wanna cook. I also couldn't bring myself to use the microwave this morning, and I'm still hand washing my dishes. Too many appliances all at once. I gotta ease my way back into it! Haha. Last - have you ever realized how SMALL dimes are!? They seem so fragile compared to chunky colones coins!!
The day is still young too. I've got plans for a manicure later, and I just know I'll do something like try to speak Spanish to the Asian ladies - in my mind, anyone at this point who doesn't understand me, doesn't understand me because I'm not speaking Spanish. I'm also going to get sushi. I struggled with the large menu at Cracker Barrel last night, so maybe I'll handle having a choice it better this time.
It's been nice to have my crew back too!! Mom met me at the airport, and then Gracie and Alex were waiting on the porch for me when we pulled in the parking lot. Of course, they stormed downstairs and bombarded me with hugs. Once upstairs, they had also made a "Welcome Home" sign, accompanied with a bottle of White Zin. The night (and wee hours of the morning) were spent giggling, catching up, and giving each other a hard time. Just what I needed after a long day. Good friends truly make everything better.
Let's see how this whole, functioning in a normal society goes for me today. I've gotta evolve from the cavewoman I have become. :)
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Saying Goodbyes
I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but I haven't been able to sit still long enough to write! Go figure. This shouldn't be surprising at this point! Haha
Overall, I've been doing the same ole same ole - escaping to the jungles of my beloved Matapalo, staying in my quaint little tent, and learning to totally carve, shredding the wave, mae (haha imagine that in my best surfer voice). I've even gotten Paco addicted too - he's standing up and turning on green waves! AND, I met the owner of the nicest resort in the area, and he gave me (plus a friend) free lunch (followed by gourmet dessert!) and access to the exclusive waterfall hiking trail. The resort is on the mountaintop overlooking the Pan Dulce break and the untouched jungle, so needless to say that day was full of wonder, adventure, beauty, and the royal treatment!
Other than surfing...A few weeks ago, I had another friend, Robert, come down from Escazu and hike Corcovado National Park with me. If this tell you anything, National Geographic describes the park as "the most biologically intense place on Earth in terms of biodiversity." Pretty cool, huh? We took Friday to hike the 8 hours into the park to Sirena Station, and we spent all day Saturday, and much of the day Sunday, exploring the trails around the station. Our favorite hike was a 4am jungle hike. We were some of the only brave souls going at this whole thing without a guide, but no more than 15 feet into the trail, we see two eyes, about waist level, coming for us! I then saw two of the same eyes that were only maybe knee high. Oh no, had we just run across an aggressive mother puma and her baby cub or something?!?! Afterall, the two were coming straight for us!!! Frozen, we watched a tapir and it's baby emerge into the light of our flashlights. COOL! And what a relief! Tapirs are very docile, and partially blind, so she must have been blinded by our lights. She got about 10ft away from us before she turned towards the river for her routine bath at dawn. We saw many other wild animals (like ant eaters, snakes, crocs, plenty of exotic birds, and monkeys), but we were the ONLY ones to see the tapir and it's baby that weekend!!! So much for needing a guide! We explored each trail in the area except one before we caught the boat to Bahia Drake. We had originally planned to hike out, but our feet were torn up, so we had a change of plans. Thanks to travel agent Paco, we were able to get a boat ride to Drake, where we stayed the night and caught the oddest series of transportation ever back to Jimenez. Let's just say, the 4am "bus" ended up being a pick up truck (that we shoved 15 people into), a broken down short bus, and a regular sized bus that got us home 3 hours later than planned. Oh well, it just added to the adventure!
The last few weeks of school have also been an adventure. I think we changed the date of the last day of school about 3 times, so needless to say, my students stop showing up on the earliest of those dates haha Parent conferences went well - I'm happy and proud to say that I DID make a difference while I was there. My older students were very sad to see me go. They told me they had enjoyed that I made class interesting, and indirectly, they told me that my passion for teaching showed through my work in the classroom. The parents were also sad to see me go, and it warmed my heart when the mother of my most difficult student told me she could tell a big difference in her child's motivation at school. She told me that her child had commented on how well we got along, and the fact that I took interest in her made the difference. More than any money in the world, this is why I am a teacher.
My last weekend was spent in Matapalo of course. AND Mother Nature heard my prayers - a swell came in Friday-Monday, right on the money. I'll admit, the swell was a little HUGE for me on Saturday, but Sunday and especially Monday, I caught some good rides. I am so excited that I can see myself improving. I still wipeout hard, but I have also learned to turn so that I can cruise up and down the face of the wave. A long way from riding whitewater on a 9'6 longboard just months ago! And I am addicted FOR SURE, like I always knew I would be. Ever since I was young, I knew this would be a sport I'd get hooked on. I will never live far from a break ever again. In fact, one of the hardest parts of leaving was parting with my beloved board. I knew it, but I didn't fully realize how good of a match my board and I are. It has been exactly what I've needed to learn, grow, and push my limits on the wave. Just like a first love, my first board will always hold a special place in my heart. I trust it's next owner (a fellow surfer and friend of mine) loves it well.
Overall, I've been doing the same ole same ole - escaping to the jungles of my beloved Matapalo, staying in my quaint little tent, and learning to totally carve, shredding the wave, mae (haha imagine that in my best surfer voice). I've even gotten Paco addicted too - he's standing up and turning on green waves! AND, I met the owner of the nicest resort in the area, and he gave me (plus a friend) free lunch (followed by gourmet dessert!) and access to the exclusive waterfall hiking trail. The resort is on the mountaintop overlooking the Pan Dulce break and the untouched jungle, so needless to say that day was full of wonder, adventure, beauty, and the royal treatment!
The new king of surf
And the newest surf instructor in town
A set coming in a Pan Dulce, seen from Lapa Rios (the resort)
Jumping off the falls at Lapa Rios
Other than surfing...A few weeks ago, I had another friend, Robert, come down from Escazu and hike Corcovado National Park with me. If this tell you anything, National Geographic describes the park as "the most biologically intense place on Earth in terms of biodiversity." Pretty cool, huh? We took Friday to hike the 8 hours into the park to Sirena Station, and we spent all day Saturday, and much of the day Sunday, exploring the trails around the station. Our favorite hike was a 4am jungle hike. We were some of the only brave souls going at this whole thing without a guide, but no more than 15 feet into the trail, we see two eyes, about waist level, coming for us! I then saw two of the same eyes that were only maybe knee high. Oh no, had we just run across an aggressive mother puma and her baby cub or something?!?! Afterall, the two were coming straight for us!!! Frozen, we watched a tapir and it's baby emerge into the light of our flashlights. COOL! And what a relief! Tapirs are very docile, and partially blind, so she must have been blinded by our lights. She got about 10ft away from us before she turned towards the river for her routine bath at dawn. We saw many other wild animals (like ant eaters, snakes, crocs, plenty of exotic birds, and monkeys), but we were the ONLY ones to see the tapir and it's baby that weekend!!! So much for needing a guide! We explored each trail in the area except one before we caught the boat to Bahia Drake. We had originally planned to hike out, but our feet were torn up, so we had a change of plans. Thanks to travel agent Paco, we were able to get a boat ride to Drake, where we stayed the night and caught the oddest series of transportation ever back to Jimenez. Let's just say, the 4am "bus" ended up being a pick up truck (that we shoved 15 people into), a broken down short bus, and a regular sized bus that got us home 3 hours later than planned. Oh well, it just added to the adventure!
We made it into the park!
Looonnnggggg hike....
Anteater!
And other "wild life" haha
Taking the boat out to Drake
The last few weeks of school have also been an adventure. I think we changed the date of the last day of school about 3 times, so needless to say, my students stop showing up on the earliest of those dates haha Parent conferences went well - I'm happy and proud to say that I DID make a difference while I was there. My older students were very sad to see me go. They told me they had enjoyed that I made class interesting, and indirectly, they told me that my passion for teaching showed through my work in the classroom. The parents were also sad to see me go, and it warmed my heart when the mother of my most difficult student told me she could tell a big difference in her child's motivation at school. She told me that her child had commented on how well we got along, and the fact that I took interest in her made the difference. More than any money in the world, this is why I am a teacher.
My last weekend was spent in Matapalo of course. AND Mother Nature heard my prayers - a swell came in Friday-Monday, right on the money. I'll admit, the swell was a little HUGE for me on Saturday, but Sunday and especially Monday, I caught some good rides. I am so excited that I can see myself improving. I still wipeout hard, but I have also learned to turn so that I can cruise up and down the face of the wave. A long way from riding whitewater on a 9'6 longboard just months ago! And I am addicted FOR SURE, like I always knew I would be. Ever since I was young, I knew this would be a sport I'd get hooked on. I will never live far from a break ever again. In fact, one of the hardest parts of leaving was parting with my beloved board. I knew it, but I didn't fully realize how good of a match my board and I are. It has been exactly what I've needed to learn, grow, and push my limits on the wave. Just like a first love, my first board will always hold a special place in my heart. I trust it's next owner (a fellow surfer and friend of mine) loves it well.
My true love haha
Being silly between waves
Alright, so now the burning question on everyone's mind - "Are you excited to come home?" Ahhhh what a tough question. I've laughed, I've cried, I've made some big decisions, gone through a big breakup, and had some big adventures here. Yes, living in Puerto Jimenez is very challenging, and would I like to live there long term? No way. But it's been a learning and growing experience for sure. I've learned so much about myself by doing things alone - going to the jungle alone and surfing and forging my own way in the teaching world. Spiritually, I am also a stronger person, and I've seen a few characteristics in myself that I wasn't so sure I had. I've gained guts, or "intestinal fortitude" as a coach once put it. I've made wonderful friends with like mindsets and met even strangers who encourage me along my path of great, unknown adventures, and what I've taken away from that is that I'm NOT crazy! My dreams CAN be real, and I CAN pursue my passion for teaching in this way.
As far as coming home from this whirlwind, I am very nervous. No one warns you about REVERSE culture shock, and it hit me hard when I came back from Escazu last time. The thing is, compared to Jimenez, Escazu is soooooo westernized and similar to home. If I had reverse culture shock coming home from THAT, I'm scared to see what it'll be like this time....I'm going to freeze, first of all, and English will feel somewhat foreign in public places. Everyone will look weird and be wearing weird clothes, and what in the world is a dishwasher or clothes dryer again?!?! Blankets?! What are those? A CAR - like I even know how to drive anymore. Everyday complaints will seem so trivial. Waking up to noisy traffic or people yelling instead of macaws squawking and monkeys howling....Not to mention, by U.S. standards, I am broke out of my mind. On top of all this, I'm coming home for the most chaotic time of year - Christmas. (Luckily, I've already got some presents made and others ready to make!)
So, in the end, yes I will be happy to see friends and family, but I am sad to be leaving friends and the place I've come accustomed to. Matapalo, especially, is such a rare gem that will always hold onto my heart. You never know, maybe I'll end up there again one day, surfing Backwash. Back to my surfing stomping grounds.
The other question on everyone's mind - "So what's next?" Great question. I'll let you know when I figure that part out.......I'm looking for a job though, so please let me know if you know someone who knows someone or anything! My hopes are high to do a Workaway (Google it) on the northern coast of Spain, where I can teach English, improve my Spanish, and live ON the beach, right in front of the surf break. Sounds pretty sweet to me...........
Onto the plane. Peace out, Costa Rica. Once again, you have not failed me. Pura Vida.
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